This task had the potential to be very sweet and romantic. The operative word here being potential! The task had to be completed under a full moon, now anybody who has ever been outside at midnight under a full moon in winter knows that the temperature is between solid ice and I can't feel my legs. Unfortunately for us this night didn't disappoint! It was horribly cold and the wind was blowing an icy gale.
I'm not sure whether we walked down the beach or shivered down it, but we made it and at the very end we all all but ran back to the car leaving shards of ice behind us.
Needless to say, romance was the last thing on our mind.
This sounds like an easy task right? Simply take a trip to Sydney sleep overnight, jump on a ferry the next day, and we're done. At least that was the plan.
The trip to Sydney while ridiculously early was uneventful and I even managed to get a few minutes of sleep in the process. The problem started when the group of people I went with realized that the forecasted temperature for the special day was expected to be a record breaking 42.c. If there is nothing else standoutish about me the one thing that does stand out is my pathetically pale skin. Only made slightly worse by the fact that I'm a ranga. I bet you could guess what was going on in my mind, it went a little something like, 42.c? Are you kidding me? There isn't enough hours in a day for me to put sunscreen on for that sort of temperature. To say I was nervous would be absolute bullshit, I was terrified. The sort of terrified you get when you know you're going to be in a world of hurt but there's no way to avoid it.
The morning of the task was deceivingly hot, made so by the fact the air conditioner was on all night at the hotel. I was however, prepared for the morning burst of 32.c having spent 20 minutes applying two thick layers of sunscreen. By the time we walked up the road to the bus I had realized my first big mistake. I had gotten so entrenched in making myself sun proof I had neglected to consider wearing dark thick jeans was probably a bad option. Luckily there was a shopping center near by and within a few minutes I was sporting a way overpriced pair of shorts.
By the time we bused it to Circular Quay the temperature had sky rocketed to 39.c and I had downed two bottles of coke, along with the coffee a coffee for breakfast. After a few minutes of talking we had decided on taking a ferry to Watsons Bay for some fish and chips, then take another to Balmain.
To say the first ferry was memorable was an exaggeration, the only think I really remember from the trip was that two thirds of it I was applying sunscreen and the other third was spent worry about if I'd missed any spots with the sunscreen. Finally though the trip ended and we marched up to Doyles an open restaurant... Yeah that's right open as in didn't have a bloody air conditioner. We actually ate hot fish and chips in 43.c with no air conditioning. To this very day I don't know how I didn't pass out, perhaps it was coke 3 and 4 I drank while eating.
View from the inside of Doyles
I would love to say the second ferry trip was much better, but honestly it was more of the same sunscreen worshiping rubbish. Well there was one one slight difference, I started to feel a little sick. Not heat stroke sick, more jittery, nauseous and hyper alert. I bet most of you already have an idea of the problem, well good for you, because I thought it was just the effects of the heat.
We departed the ferry at Balmain and walked close to 6 blocks to get to our destination which was no other than Zumbos. Now for those of you who haven't heard of Zumbos I'll just say this, Zumbos is as close to heaven a person can get from eating a cake. Safe to say I followed my heavenly cake with a nice big cold bottle of coke. Yes I agree with all of you, I was and still am an idiot. I don't remember too much after finishing that coke because by the time we all managed to get me back to the hotel I could barely stand, my heart felt like it was about to pound itself right through my rib cage and my brain had cut and run.
Night at the Cross by Adriano Zumbo
Suffice to say I had a lot of fun and highly recommend against substituting coke for water.
Okay I think I'm mature enough so I'll just come out and confess, I have been neglecting my blog! Huh? What else did you think I was going to confess to on a forever public record. In all seriousness I have been neglecting it, which isn't a good sign considering I only have two posts. There is a very good reason for the neglect, I promise.
Those of you who have paid even the slightest attention to the blog will have noticed task two and three are no where to be seen. Well the thing about that is tasks two and three are tough tasks and require warm weather and lots of alcohol. Suffice to say it's winter here at the moment and no amount of alcohol will fix compensate for that. This my friends is the whole reason for the stalling. I really wanted to write and complete the tasks in order but it is just not practical to delay posts to that degree. In order to maximise the post writing and minimise the excus... I mean delays it makes sense to cheat and complete the tasks out of order. Well that's my justification and I'm sticking to it.
To those of you who are curious to what these tasks might be I have this to say, you'll just have to wait.
Ever since I was a young terror I wanted to go to the Planetarium. My parents would always promise we would stop by next time we drove past it, only problem was by the time we finally got around to it the place had shut down. Let this be a lesson to all parents out there, this is exactly what happens when you don't take your kids to the place they want to go...They shut down and scare your kids FOREVER!! Yeah I had such a terrible childhood sniff sniff.
I guess after relaying my sob story to Maz (possibly more than once) she must have made a mental note because the first task arriving in an envelope with a big number one on it was a trip to the Planetarium. As an added bonus it also included free entry into Science Works and tickets to the lightening show.
The lightening show was the first item on the agenda and the first thing I noticed after walking through the door was that Maz and I where the only ones without kids trailing behind us. You wouldn't think it, but it was actually rather intimidating. The intimidation quickly got worse when I incorrectly answered a few questions under my breath which most of the kids in the room got right. That's right, I'm man enough to admit it, the 8 year old sitting next to me knew more about lightening and electro-magnetism than I did, and I've been electrocuted more than a few times.
Inside the Lightening Show
With the lightening show over we killed some time looking around science works. Although this place is aimed directly at kids it proved to be extremely entertaining and made short work of the couple of hours we had spare. Luckily my general gadget geek knowledge is pretty strong so I managed to avoid a rehash of the personal inadequacies discovered in the lightening show. As entertaining as everything is at Science Works the highlight had to be Sperm Racer. Racing a single sperm through a giant uterus just spells hours of family fun. Luckily Sperm Racer only consisted of 3 levels otherwise I would have been there all day.
With the spare time well wasted we joined the massive line for the Planetarium. Although the line was massive it did move pretty quickly and it did give me some extra time to perve... umm admire the Grace Park (Boomer from BSG) look-a-like. Though soon we were all seated in the Planetarium and after years of waiting I finally got to gaze upon the domed roof in all of its glory. Then as a swirling black hole appeared to move towards us I fell into some kind of nerd trance, watching the whole thing with a partially dropped jaw. Sadly if I wasn't lying back I may have even drooled slightly. It was definitely all I had hoped it would be.
Now this was definitely a great way to start the Thirty before 30 adventure. Maybe this won't be so scary after all... Or will it!
What is all this about then, I hear you ask. Well first let me take this opportunity to thank you for stumbling onto my blog. Now in order to answer that question I think I need to start at the... well, start.
It was obvious that the end of my twenties would come eventually, but as the end crept ever closer I started pondering all the things I haven't done yet. Even taking the opportunity to whinge about them to whoever would listen on several occasions. Now don't get me wrong, I haven't exactly wasted my life. I have tried my luck as a nightclub bouncer, worked at a market stall, dined in some of the best restaurants Australia has to offer, flew in a stunt plane as the pilot did his best to fill the cockpit with my lunch, hated a few, and loved even more. Yeah, I have done a lot in my short time here on earth. However, there are still a lot of things I would like to do before I wave a teary goodbye to such an amazing period in my life.
Now that you know the background I can finally get around to answering your question. After patiently sitting through more than one of my whinge sessions, my wonderful parter thought enough was enough and she gave me an unusual but amazingly thoughtful 29th birthday present. What is this amazingly thoughtful present I speak of? Thirty tasks completely paid for to do before I'm 30, but there is a catch. I have no decision or choice in the tasks I am to perform and I must perform each task to the letter no matter how uncomfortable or humiliating they may be. I will receive each task at a random time and all tasks must be done before I reach 30.
Right here in this blog I will document ever last little embarrassing, uncomfortable, and exciting moment for any readers who might stumble across my blog to read and hopefully have a good laugh at.
Sound interesting? To me it sounds downright terrifying.